Signs your communication skills need improvement

Most people lack relational communication skills. No one was taught how to communicate effectively, so it makes sense that it's a struggle.

People are taught how to speak, but good sentence structure and a wide range of vocabulary words won't always lead to being understood or understanding others—the goal of communication. Effective communication requires much more than being able to speak.

The good news is it's never too late to learn how to communicate more effectively. The first step is to realize you're having communication issues. Then, you can learn how to communicate in a more productive way. The following is a list of the top three signs that you need to learn healthier communication skills in order to resolve conflict and feel more connected in your relationship:

1. You have the same fights over and over. Your fights are about the same topic again and again, or, your fights blow up in the same way about a variety of subjects over and over. The fight may end, but it's only a matter of time before you'll argue about the same thing again.

2. You avoid discussing certain topics. You don't want to fight so you try not to bring up topics that lead only to pain and disconnection. The problem is that avoiding those subjects leads to pain and disconnection anyway.

3. You regularly feel misunderstood, unseen, or unheard. No matter how hard you try, you don't feel understood, validated, or seen. Perhaps your partner has expressed feeling the same.

If these experiences feel familiar, it means it's time to get to work on your communication skills. With practice, you and your partner can begin to understand each other. Arguments can begin to go well, leaving you and your partner feeling more connected than ever.

Couples counselling and helping with communication is one of our specialities. If you feel you need help, book an appointment today.

Effective communication requires more than speech

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