Building self-esteem

When I hear people talking about self-esteem, they talk about other people damaging it. The things other people say and the the criticisms that get sent their way. People see their self-esteem as being at the mercy of those around them. In reality, this is just not true.

Our self esteem is based on the rating we have of ourselves. Our opinions of how we behave and how we let ourselves down. Self-esteem is the promises that we make to ourselves that we don't keep. Those promises to lose weight, not get angry, not be rude, be more active etc etc. When we don't achieve a promise, we let ourselves down and our self talk lowers our self-esteem.

People may have put you down, belittled or criticised you, but it's what we say to ourselves that we listen to more than any of this. Just like we disbelieve compliments and can write them off with our own self talk, so we can punish ourselves by agreeing or taking on other people's critical or negative voices.

The antedote to this is to always be kind about and to yourself. Accept yourself and your mistakes. Reframe your stories to empower yourself, rather than punish yourself. Always see the good in your attempts and talk to yourself like you would talk to a best friend.

Tame your inner critic and you will build your self esteem.

Stop waiting for others around you to recognise your worth and start to recognise it for yourself. Ignore other people's opinion of you and learn to be comfortable with your own opinion of yourself.

If you struggle to change your self talk or see your own worth, please feel free to get in touch for a session to help and guide you towards learning this skill.

Karen

Our self esteem is based on the rating we have of ourselves