10 ways to start loving yourself the way you deserve to be loved.

There are many ways to love yourself, and why is this important?

Loving yourself is vital because without this, we cannot walk joyfully through life and have a joyful impact on those around us. Loving ourselves means we are able to love others and contribute positively to the greater society.

The most important ways to love ourselves are:

Forgive yourself - The past belongs in the past and cannot be undone. Learn to leave it in the past where it belongs and draw a line in the sand.

Gratitude - Expressing gratitude can help us shift our focus towards what we are grateful for in life and as such increase our happiness. Research has shown that unhappiness is the gap between what we think we have and what we actually have. Gratitude allows a focus on what we have.

Saying "no" - Setting boundaries and learning to say "no" is an important step towards living a more authentic life and not allowing ourselves yo be at the mercy of other people's demands on our time and happiness.

Being mindful - Being present and learning to live in the moment is vital if we want to learn to love ourselves. Quietening all the white noise, opinions and judgements and just "being" is important if we want to learn self love.

Being kind to yourself - We all have an inner critic that creates negative internal dialogues. Silencing our inner critic is hard but essential if we want to like ourselves. Challenge your inner critic, like you would an outer critic, and learn to talk to yourself like a best friend would.

Find your happy place - Find what makes you happy and take steps towards it. Finding things that re-energise you or make you feel calm is necessary to live a fulfilled life. Even if this is simply drinking a cup of tea in the garden looking at nature, watching a sunset, watching our children play. All of these simple things help us to recognise joyful moments and increase our self love.

Set goals - Goal setting is important because it validates our attempts to create the life we want. Self esteem has been shown to be damaged more by us letting ourselves down more than others letting us down. Setting achievable goals is a way to boost our self esteem by achieving goals that set by us, achieved by us and under our control.

Remember your worth - Each day recognise 3 things that you have done well. Whether this is a behaviour or a trait, make sure that you recognise the way you are or the things you do that you would recognise in others.

You are enough - Recognise and remember that you are enough just as you are. Other people might expect you to be someone else, but you are enough just as you are. Recognise this and resist comparison. Resist the urge for comparison and stop wasting time trying to be someone else and be happy with who you really are. If you have lost yourself, go on a voyage of discovery to find yourself again.

If any of the above sounds like something you might be struggling with, please get in touch for some help towards learning to love yourself so you can love others.

Karen Rushbrook

(KMR counselling)

#selfacceptance #lifestyle