Returning to school

Helping Primary School Children Cope with School Anxiety

It’s normal for children to feel nervous about school from time to time. New classrooms, changing friendships, tests, or even the thought of being away from home can stir up big feelings in little bodies. For some primary-aged children, these worries can grow into ongoing school anxiety, making mornings hard and learning feel overwhelming.

What Does School Anxiety Look Like?

School anxiety doesn’t always show up as “I’m scared.” Younger children often express it through their bodies or behaviour. You might notice:

• Tummy aches or headaches before school

• Trouble sleeping the night before

• Tears, clinginess, or meltdowns at drop-off

• Avoidance (suddenly “forgetting” homework, asking to stay home)

• Increased irritability after school

These are not signs of bad behaviour – they’re signals that your child is feeling unsafe or overwhelmed.

Common Causes

Every child is different, but common triggers include:

• Separation from parents or caregivers

• Fear of making mistakes or not keeping up

• Social worries (friendships, bullying, fitting in)

• Big changes (new teacher, new school, family changes)

• Sensory overload (noise, crowds, busy classrooms)

How Parents Can Help

1. Validate Their Feelings

Let your child know it’s okay to feel worried. Try:“I can see school feels really hard for you right now. You’re not in trouble for feeling this way.”

2. Name the Anxiety

Helping children put words to their feelings gives them a sense of control.“Sounds like your worry is telling you something bad might happen. Let’s talk about that.”

3. Create Predictable Routines

Morning and evening routines help children feel safe. Knowing what comes next reduces uncertainty.

4. Build Brave Moments

Rather than aiming for anxiety to disappear, focus on helping your child do things even when they feel anxious. Praise effort, not just outcomes:“You were really brave walking into class today.”

5. Work With the School

Teachers can be wonderful allies. A quiet check-in, a buddy system, or a calm drop-off plan can make a big difference.

When to Seek Extra Support

If anxiety is lasting weeks, getting worse, or stopping your child from attending school or enjoying daily life, it may be time to talk with a psychologist, school counsellor, or GP. Early support can prevent anxiety from becoming entrenched and help your child build lifelong coping skills.

A Gentle Reminder

Children don’t choose anxiety. They experience it. With patience, understanding, and the right support, most children learn that they can handle their worries and that school can become a place of safety and growth again.

You’re not alone, and neither is your child.