Separation to attachment

Separation anxiety and your child.

Separation anxiety is a given in most children when returning to school. For some children, it is big and visible, for others it is small and internal, but it still exists. Separating from our child as we hand them over to be taken care of by someone else can be difficult, for parent and child alike. There are two techniques which can be a subtle but effective way to help increase your child’s comfort and ability to learn at school. Both of these techniques increase connections between your child and their teacher and this connection helps them to feel safe.

Attachment blessing:

An attachment blessing is a way of giving a child your blessing that school is going to be OK. You can do this by saying:

“I know this teacher is going to take really good care of you”

“Mummy knows that this teacher is going to look after you until I come to pick you up”.

“I am leaving you in the hands of your teacher and I know she will look after you”.

An attachment blessing from a parent is an important way of telling your child “it is safe and you are going to be looked after”.

Attachment matchmaking:

This is when mum and teacher have open communication with each other, that the child can see. This really helps a child to feel connected at school and to feel that there is a “match” between mum and the teacher. This can be done by saying things like:

“your teacher told me you were really good today”

“your teacher told me she thinks you are really creative”

The teacher then will need to say things like:

“mum tells me you have a new dog”

“mum tells me you are going to Figi”

The purpose behind this is connection. If a child feels a connection between parent and teacher this will allay fears and reduce anxiety. Children need to trust their teacher and if they see a connection between the teacher and the parent, this will definitely help to increase trust and, in turn, reduce anxiety.

If you believe anxiety is preventing your child from participating fully at school, please contact kmrcounselling for guidance and strategies.

kmrcounselling - 0430016871

Separation anxiety is a given in most children when returning to school